Stop Reality
by maleV
Summary: How is it possible that he survived China? Nothing left in the world makes sense but this. Nivanfield.
1. Day One

**Here's a gift for MysticPrima**

**I spent a good deal of time on this one because I am still deciding if its a oneshot or if I'm going to continue it. For people that comment, I appreciate it if you would let me know what you think. It has so many places it can go from here.**

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Everything was hard and fast, completely out of control. Perhaps it was their line of work, but Chris was falling, and the world was crumbling like an avalanche around him, threatening smother the life from him and for once he just wanted the world to stop. For this contagion to cease its tormenting and leave him free to be the man he wanted to be, not who he was being forced to be. Certainly that was what it meant to be free. It was as if everything was put in fast forward and there was no way stopping it. When he'd kissed Piers it had been completely out of misery, it was to make sure he was real. He'd wanted to cure the pain and anguish in his own heart by finding something good and Piers was that goodness. He was the light in the dark. He was this overpowering force that had pushed and strive to make Chris a better man, to make him that man that he wanted to be. Piers was the only one that seemed to know that he was sinking, and he wanted Piers to lift him back up. But now everything was spinning again and he was succumbing to the dizziness that threatened him, the fingers prying at the edges of his tactical vest and holding him up against the wall the only reason why his knees hadn't given out. "Piers..." His voice was a mumbled, barely here at all, eyes rolling back in his head. "Piers." The young soldier was spinning with him, his mouth sucking on the gruff flesh of his captain's neck, pulling away the straps that finally came undone, yanking it up and away, the dull thud it made as it landed in the corner already forgotten before finding the thick muscles in his neck, his tongue tasting the saltiness. "Piers, stop."

The balmy heat of Piers' mouth continued to nibble and suckle on the rasped flesh until Chris growled, everything coming to a halt as his captain took him by the shoulders, pulling him away. "Piers we can't do this. I'm not... We aren't just soldiers, we're people. Please... just slow down." His world seemed to finally stop just for a moment, his eyes meeting hazel ones that seemed glazed over, black pupils blown out. He wondered if the agent in his arms was crying but there were no tears, only the tremble his body felt when Chris had yanked him away. "Of all the things that I can't control Piers, I can control this. I want you, but I want to feel this. I'm numb Piers..." He wasn't casting his partner away, honestly it was exactly the opposite, he wanted every part of the younger ace that he could have. He wanted to live and breath his air but he wanted to see it and feel it, not numbly fumble as he had through every other facet of his life. It was just amazing to him that Piers was here, alive in his arms. He should have been dead, Haos should have killed them, the virus should have killed him... his body shouldn't be normal like this in his arms. His arm had... his eyes, his body had been mangled and destroyed... but he was so perfect now.

Piers' lips parted to speak, but Chris leaned in and caught him before he could, pressing his need into it as he felt the sweat on the back of his partner's neck, running his thumb over the soft flesh. This time it was languid, slow. He could taste his mouth on him and it was just pure need. Piers was so much softer than Chris. Everything about Chris was burning hot and gruff. Course facial hair, calloused fingers, hardened war torn flesh, a broad expanse of chest made of nothing but knots of muscle. Piers was smooth faced, and slick from the sheen of sweat on his body. his skin was like velvet and his body was tone and lithe, lips like fuckin' pillows, he could devour them. They were too, devouring each other. They may have slowed down but Chris couldn't help running his hands over him, feeling every line and curve of his body as their mouths fused together, the clips holding his flak jacket to his torso slowly going slack as Chris loosened them, pulling back to breath and yank it away, letting it join his own in the corner of the room.

"You are fuckin' beautiful you know that?" Chris pulled the sweat soaked shirt off the sculpted form shivering under his touch, trailing kisses up his collar, tasting the tan skin beneath laced with the salt from his body. "Take these off." his hand nudged the edge of Piers' utility belt, sucking in the scent of his partner's flesh. "Slowly..." His voice sent a tremor though the younger man, his hands immediately dipping down to undo the clips, feeling Chris' palm on his wrist almost immediately. "Slow... down." It immediately seemed to tame him, nipping along the baby smooth skin on his jaw and up along the soft skin, sucking on the pouted lower lip urging tiny moans that followed, sliding his tongue over it until he met Piers' almost pulling him into his mouth to taste every inch. God the kid knew how to move, how to make him want to taste every part of his flesh.

The belt fell from around Piers waist and hit the ground, lithe slim fingers finding their captain's waist and winding around the straps, tugging them until they loosened just enough to delve his finger tips down passed the elastic and fabric until he found Chris' flesh heating beneath his calloused hands. "Captain, I need you." His voice was straining against Chris' mouth, begging almost silently, until he felt the dexterous hand wrap around his shaft, teasing him and tantalizing his body, until the fabric strained against his arousal.

"Piers, calm down, hey kid," He grabbed his face despite the groan that escaped as the hand continued to coax more pleasure through his growing erection. "We've got all night babe, settle down. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" He couldn't help but push the younger man back against the wall, tugging his hand away reluctantly, wincing at the sudden coolness from the retreating warmth of his partner's skin. The rumble of Chris' voice in his chest made his ace laugh, the first time he'd heard him do so since they left on that mission what seemed like an eternity ago. It lifted a weight just to hear it taking his partner by the hips and walking him away from the wall,careful steps until the bed was behind his knees, giving him the lightest push until he sat, looking up at Chris with hazel eyes that could pierce and destroy a man as easily as they made his soul burn. Looking down at him, he ran fingers through the usually never out of place hair, strands catching on the grips of his gunner's gloves and tugging, but the boy didn't seem to mind, drifting his eyes closed and leaning his face into the caress.

They stayed there like that for sometime, holding Piers' face against his gloved hand, running his fingers through his hair over and over, calming him until finally his heart beat regular again, despite his aching need battling for control. He loved the world right now, standing still in his hands, everything that had ever mattered in the world was right there. His eyes were tracing every wound and scar on his partner along with the slightly swollen tissue of his lip where the skin was broken. It was a perfect mixture of the frantic pace he was use to and a complete stand still. "Have you ever done this before?" The question came out unbidden, but since the moment he'd first kissed him it was bending and twisting in his mind, particularly how well his subordinate handled himself since the door had closed. It didn't matter to him, not really, but he was inexperienced at this as they came, being intimate with anyone, let alone a man. The question earned him another chuckle, peeling away the glove and disregarding it to the growing pile of clothing. Lips sealing around Chris' forefinger, his tongue slipped over the rough pad, curling his tongue over it, causing the heartbeat in his chest to thunder, blood roaring in his ears. "God Piers, answer the question, please, just... fuck.." His middle finger slipped unconsciously to join its brother in the moist warmth, brushing along the inside of his cheek. Gasping, he finally pulled his hand away curling his fingers in a fist while he looked down at the younger man's sheepish grin. "Well?"

"No." His eagerness to have Chris' hand back on the side of his face made his lover smile, but there was doubt lingering in those brown orbs staring down at him while the younger man rose his hands, slowly undoing the front of the fatigues that hugged his captain's hips, pulling them downward until they were stepped out of, along with boots that were shoved away. "I've done _some_ things..." His tone was suggesting in its own, but cool hands pushing away the remaining fabric on Chris' body, leaning forward and taking the head of him in his mouth, inflicting a groan that ripped through his chest. He knew a lot more than Chris could have thought and he was grateful at the moment, his shoulders rolling as his body tensed with the thick flesh of his member growing harder under the forceful sucking. Piers knew exactly what he was doing that was certain, and per his captain's request he was moving slowly, taking more and more into his mouth bit by bit, antagonizingly slow until he was almost bucking into his mouth, urging him to take everything from him with the taut swallowing motion he made, pulling another stream of groans from him.  
"Stop, shit, stop Piers."

Lips slowly retreated with a pop, swollen and curling into a smile as Chris pushed him gently but still with demand until he laid back, letting him strip away the boots and pants, never hesitating to strip away the briefs beneath as well. "Geez Nivans are you perfect everywhere?" He laughed running his hands from his smooth chest to tawny hairs just beneath his naval, examining the well muscled thighs. Chris was far less use to handling another man, but he understood his own body and that meant he understood how to urge soft mewling from his partner the moment he put his thicker rough hand over him, slipping his fingers over the slit in his head and swallowing his moans by kissing him. Piers craned his neck back, gasping under the heat of his captain's ministrations, working him faster and pleased with the way his name was immediately falling from his lips like a prayer. "You want to come for me baby?" Chris' voice rasped as he tightened his hold, biting the flesh over his shoulder, sucking on it until he was certain there would be a mark to join the others that coated his body. He wanted to please Piers, he wanted him to feel this moment more than any other that had made him suffer. He wanted to hear sweet nothings that would make all the other words of discouragement and command of HQ dissolve.  
"Chris... that feels..so, I... just wait, please Captain."

Releasing him carefully, Chris slipped over him, smiling putting a palm against his chest to move him backward up the bed. Had he known he could get such delightful noises out of Piers he would have done this so long ago. Just the sound of his voice straining that way, begging, was making Chris ache painfully. He knew what he wanted to do, but the question was if the younger man was willing. He obviously had been moving quick enough to get his captain's uniform off him earlier and the way his mouth had worked him, but that didn't necessarily mean he was ready for anything further than that, and if not that was alright too, just having him there, knowing Piers was his, that they were alive. His fingers ghosted over the warm slick flesh between his partner's legs, causing the man to gasp before gripping his hand, pulling it up beside his head so it wasn't allowed to urge him any further. There was a calm silence of deep gasping breaths, Chris just looking down over him as Piers hands moved easily guided over the captain's body until he gripped his wrist, pulling his hand back down, guiding Chris' hand down between his legs and, resting the flat of his palm on his firm ass.

There was a knot growing both in Alpha leader's throat and in the pit of his stomach, knowing the next step that he was being led to, allowing his hand to prob while Piers let his legs drift further apart, arching his body off the bed to kiss at the flesh of Chris' neck, biting him as the thickness of his finger pressed inside him. There was no denying that it hurt, Chris could feel how his partner was tensing around his finger, conveying the ache by biting into his throat, the thick ropes of muscle flexing as his teeth threatened to draw blood. "Relax, I promise I'll go slow, please, just relax." He didn't want to hurt Piers in anyway, but the warmth of his body was overwhelming, his cock twitching angrily from the neglect and desire that surged through him. "Please, baby." His voice soothed the younger man under him, and he felt his muscles relax, pressing his finger deeper into him. It was amazing the whimpering sounds his partner made, hoping them to give way to the purring noises of pleasure he'd made earlier. Smirking just the slightest, he shifted his weight on his opposing forearm, nudging his partner's head up from the teeth grit as he pushed a second finger inside him, kissing his jaw. "It hurts, I know." He'd felt the aching cock between them flag the minute he'd started pushing inside him, but it had been at his partner's request, even though the burning of his stretching muscles were making him tear up. Still, the heat of his body was like a narcotic, and he was instantly addicted. Piers' body was a fuckin' drug and all he wanted to do was feel that heat and tightening muscle around his own shaft.

Piers' hands found Chris' biceps, his fingers digging into them, nails drawing lines across his arm, until Chris watched his entire body shiver, a gasp falling from his lips as he pressed deeper inside him. His features completely conflicted by the pain he was feeling and the surge that went through his body as Chris brushed his fingers over his prostate. Whatever that bunch of nerves he'd found had felt like it was evident it alleviated the pressure from his partner briefly enough, and Chris made certain to find it again, smiling delighted as he watched the young man under him gasp in his soft tenor. "Fuck, Chris." His voice was raw, but the sound of it was making his captain's head light and the coiling desire in his stomach tighten. "Just.. Chris please," his begging was amazing, and it was as if he was fighting all instinct that screamed at him to flinch away from the pain and instead gently pushed his own hips back because of the love and lust inside him.

Chris didn't want to wait anymore, those eyes watery and wincing were fluttering shut every time he'd rub that place inside him driving him to push them deeper every time, earning a hiss every time Chris decided to scissor his fingers inside him. He wasn't sure if it was pain or pleasure, or a beautiful mixture of both, but he had to have him. Fingers pulled away carefully but hastily, kissing away the tears on Piers' face as he pulled his legs cautiously around him. His body moved on its own, shifting his hips and finding the place he had been allowing himself access to before pushing the head of his cock against the ring of stretched muscle. "Tell me you love me." Chris' eyes fell on Piers gasping form underneath him, waiting to push himself into him for those sweet words that were threatening on his lips, heavy with anticipation.

"I love you." Hazel eyes met with dark one's searching them before Chris pushed into him, penetrating his body with one swift thrust until they were flush together, Piers' entire body straining and tightening as he let out agonized cry. He hushed the yelp of pain that issued from his mouth with a kiss, slipping his tongue inside and meshing them together. Stifled moans hushed while he let his tongue steal them from his partner. No amount of preparation would have saved Piers from the pain that surged through him as Chris sank into his body inch by inch, but he knew he should have taken his time, should have let him accommodate to the thick girth, but he was in bliss with the warm, despite his partner's protests. "Chris, fuck, stop." He was openly crying, his body tensed around the thick shaft that filled his body, clinging to Chris with a ragged groan that escaped his parted lips.

"Baby its going to hurt, just let me move," Chris didn't want to hurt him, but he silenced his complaints with his mouth, their sweaty bodies sliding together easier each time the man began to thrust into him. He felt so damn good, and he knew that if he angled himself right he'd find that place that made Piers whines turn to shivers. "Shhhh, such a good boy Piers, such a _good_ boy." His words washed over the younger man, quieting him against the pain that was surging through him, and Chris took the opportunity to quickening his thrusts. He knew his protege loved to hear Chris give orders, to command, but this wasn't the field and he wanted this to be mutual, even though the pain was most likely driving all other thoughts from Piers mind, even the rasped urgings of his captain. "You know how good you feel? So tight." He groaned against Piers' neck, his cock throbbing inside him, as his climax grew closer, the knots in his stomach growing. He was lost in the feeling of it, of the world gone and just the two of them there, the only thing he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and the tiny moans escaping soft pouted lips. Whimpering every so often as the sound of flesh hitting flesh resounded through the air. He had wanted this ac to be slow, to move into him like hey were made of wax and they melted together, but now that he was inside of him, that feeling of muscle trying to relax around his penetrating size, it was impossible for him to last long at all.

Reaching a hand down he found Piers' member with his free hand, fisting him in time with his thrusts, adjusting hips as best he could, searching for that place he knew would alleviate some of the pain causing Piers' body to shake. He knew he found it once whimpering turned to mouth agape, gasping, hitting the place inside Piers' that was making him slowly come undone, fingernails digging into his back lessening. His quickened gasps were turning to audible moans starting to shift back against Chris despite the pain, in search of replacing it with the flooding sense of fullness and pleasure. His hips rocking against Chris was driving him to the edge of insanity, quickening their rhythm every time he felt Piers rock with him in time. "Christ Piers, I'm so close..."

"Captain..." It dragged out of his chest along with heavy breaths, heaving as Chris tightened his grip, feeling the way Piers was already aching in his hand, thrusting faster as he felt himself come so close. "Cap... .tain," the way he said it made Chris cock throb, swelling at the muscles inside Piers tightening around him. Biting into the junction of his shoulder and neck, knowing he couldn't hold out any longer, growling into the raw flesh as his back arched, his muscles contracting as he came. Piers was gasping as Chris filled him, thick ropes of cum surging inside his bowels. He was right behind him too. Tough calloused fingers tightened around him as he huffed into his neck, sticky fluid coating the older man's hand and the muscles of his abdomen while Piers stifled his own words, Chris' name trembled on his lips. Chris was still rocking into him, riding out the last waves of his orgasm, enjoying the gasping and pawing the younger man was doing to his back, pulling himself out of his partner slowly and rolling to his back with a groan.

They were silent for a long while just breathing each other's air and letting the mugginess of the room and darkness of it overcome them. "I love you Piers..." He would think about it later, about the repercussions and the atrocities. About what HQ was going to say about them dropping off the grid like this after what had happened with his partner. Fuck them, he was living now, and he wouldn't risk it to think about their supposed obligations to the B.S.A.A.

There was a swallow and an attempt at a chuckle as Piers slowly shifted his weight to his side, wiping the semen from his belly and some of what had seeped out of him with a wadded up shirt, throwing it in the corner with everything else; rolling onto his stomach halfway on Chris. "Love you too captain."


	2. Day 2

Fingers clutched at the cool sheets beneath him, Chris' mahogany eyes sliding open at the slit of sunlight that tried to pry his eyes open. Narrowing his gaze, he slowly turned his head, wincing at the migraine that threatened to consume his mind. That was until his thoughts were wiped instantly clean, and a smile encompassed his being, remembering the night before that clung to him. His limbs were still heavy with fatigue, almost incapable of lifting them, but the ache was a good one. The dull throb in his body of the scratches that riddled his back and chest where Piers' had touched him. Those touches had been so damn perfect. After everything, at least they had that. Exhaling the cleanness around him, Chris furrowed his brow, eyes finally focusing on the white walls surrounding him, the ceiling lined with high power lights and drop ceilings. Where the hell was he? The room they were in was spotless, it was so much so that he could probably eat off the pane windows that covered the wall, showering him with light. "Piers?" The beeping wasn't audible until he tilted his head, looking for the younger man that had fallen asleep in his arms the night before. He was alone... in a hospital. What the fuck? "Piers!" Yanking against the restraints he discovered on his thick wrists and ankles he growled, pulling away, the desperation seeping into his calls. "PIERS!"

A woman's voice stole the silence, musically sweet but twinges of fear laced through it all at the same time. Her voice was all too familiar, clutching a slim fingered hand to his thrashing ankle, calming the giant. "Chris, settle down partner. You're in the hospital. Fought like a gladiator on the helicopter so much they had to sedate you to even get you here." Jill gave one of her sad smiles, drifts of brown hair floating from her pony tail over shoulders when she leaned down to kiss his cheek; dragging a chair up beside him where Chris was heaving, gasping to fill his naked barrel chest, the plains of his body coated with a layer of sweat from both fear and the fever that had taken hold of him. "You've got a few gun shot wounds, and you had a slight heart attack from that beast reported in the facility. Electrical impulse. Otherwise the doctor said you would be okay if we got you to settle down. Of course, I've never known a job yet that was too big for Captain Chris Redfield, right partner? Still... its amazing you got out of there in one piece." Sighing, the nostalgic woman sat beside him admiring and accessing all at once until she could think of nothing else to say; knowing that all too silent look of desperation he was giving her. It was full of that sadness when someone knows something horrible, tragic, but refuses to let it in until they've heard the words. At least it would be her giving him the news, of all people it should have been her. "He's not here Chris. You know that already don't you? There was no other way, the man saved your life."

A gathered pain climbed up inside a body full of fatigue and weakness. So it was a hallucination? Something brought on by he sedatives in his system when they dragged him away from the site, made him leave behind the only reason for his existence. Everything good, everything right in the world was gone, and it was left bare. Those beautiful eyes staring up at him with adoration, devotion, conviction, demanding him to be the man he was suppose to be, but taking every piece of him as he was. Piers had taken in his pain and he'd loved every piece of him, but demanded him to be better... Yet here he was, strapped to a hospital bed, with an ex-partner at his side to let him know... he failed. Those soft loving touches belonged to a man who had given everything, Chris gave nothing. He didn't deserve the perfection that Piers offered him. The life of feeling something other than pain and self loathing was gone, and he couldn't take his partner with him. No, those hands and urgent confessions of love weren't his to claim. "He never made it out... he's gone. He's.." Chris' voice drifted out, loss and pain surging through his countenance until he turned to face away, the feelings and organs inside his body tying together into disgusting knots and turned black to shrivel up and die. "You didn't go back for him then. I told him you'd go back for him. That the B.S.A.A. would never leave him, never let him die alone in some underwater facility with the hope that... that he'd die before he became some kind of monster. He died thinking he was a monster." Outrage seeped in quickly, the horror of his own men leaving one of their own, a goddamn hero, to be alone beneath the water with nothing but the hope of not becoming those things which he had always fought to destroy.

"Chris we couldn't do that. You know better than anyone else what they would have done even if he had been recovered. Would you really wish that on him? The B.S.A.A. followed the regulations they had to follow. The same ones they followed when they presumed me dead at the Spencer estate. They couldn't use their resources to look for a man, who even if he had survived down there, would have been a bio-hazard on his own. They would have had to put him down, worse they would have experimented on him and done things much worse than just death Chris. He was a great man for what he did, he was a wonderful person. He brought home my partner to me..." Jill reached for her ex-partner's hand, her slim little fingers clutching into his slack numb hands, still stained with blood and torn flesh. "Its for the best Chris. If he had survived he-

"I loved him Jill..." The voice in the back of Chris mind clawed at him. It cut her off into subdued silence and refused to let him go while the woman stared wide eyed, huge saucers for eyes boring into that large frame that he simply ignored. Staring out against the hospital walls, he could still see that subtle smile weep over tan features as the door of his escape pod, the harbinger of his doom, swept him to safety; sickness threatening to over take him. "I didn't even know it until the end. I was living for vengeance, all hat fury I kept bottled up, over Wesker, Umbrella, Ada Wong. So much I didn't even see it, even when he tried to tell me. Maybe he even felt the same, I won't ever know, I told him to stop, that I didn't want to hear it." Thinking back on it now it was starting to crush him even thinking of the expression on that young scarred face. What was he going to say anyway? "I stared him in the eye and told him I'd bring him home. I lost him," brown eyes drew shut, a silent ease coming over his face, burying it in the pillow as best he could, refusing to see any judgement in Jill's unknowing eyes. She wouldn't understand this, but he only knew he understood it completely. He felt the gentle push of the girl's hand in his, tucking something carefully into his palm, tight stitching familiar as his thumbs rubbed circles over the well worn standard. Pain lancing through his chest as she peeled away the velcro and belts that restrained impossibly taut muscles, releasing him to pull the piece of fabric up, staring through it. Blood flecks stained it, but it meant the same to him, that blood belonged to a man he had never fully understood until the last seconds of his life. A man who understood every part of Chris without ever having to say a word.

"I'm sure he knew Chris."

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**SAD END!**


End file.
